This past week during my quiet time with the Lord, I heard something in my spirit that really shook me at my core. In an ever so firm but gentle way, God told me,
“Jonetta, you are a dreamless dreamer.”
Now, when I first heard it I thought, “wow, that’s deep.” As I began to sit with it more and more, sadness creeped into my heart. How could that be? How could I be a dreamless dreamer? What does that mean?
Up until this moment if someone would have asked me if I was a dreamer, I would have said a resounding “YES!.” My Miracle Morning routine consists of a daily blocking of visualization and its become a habit to visualize my thoughts everyday and I find myself always looking towards the future. So when I heard this hard truth about myself, I didn’t want to believe it. I did not want to see myself as someone who wanted less for themself. BUT the truth remains, I am a dreamless dreamer. 😦
This week has been hard as I find myself trying to sort out and unravel years of thoughts that have been blocked by the hands of fear. I questioned whether I wanted to write about this today. I usually find myself writing about things after I have gotten over the hump. But I also know there is strength in writing through things and sometimes we need an extra nudge to get us over the hump. As such, as I write and you read, it is my hope that this will be the nudge that I need.
So how do I associate myself as a dreamless dreamer?
Let’s think of the natural stages of sleep. There are five stages of sleep that we cycle through nightly. It begins with light sleep and gradually goes until we get into deep sleep. This is where dreams occur, during REM (Rapid Eye Movement). The last stage of the cycle.
A dreamless dreamer doesn’t allow oneself to stay long enough to get to the REM stage of dreaming. Very simply, they do not dream.
For me, I see the end or I see the beginning, but not all at once. As soon as I begin to dream, I interrupt my thoughts and lose sight of what I am dreaming. I stop myself from really seeing the middle. I stop and do not allow myself to see beyond the position I am currently in. I do not imagine what it feels like or looks like. Thoughts of lack, inadequacy, uncertainty and belief that “maybe it’s just not for me,” are my blocks. I’ve been playing it small instead of truly living big and going after what I know God put in my heart. This is who I have been.
For example, starting a blog has been a dream of mine. That’s it. I stopped as soon as I said I would like to start a blog. What I am learning, dreaming would be to imagine what my blog will be. To dream about the number of visitors, the number of entries, how it will be used, how often, how big, how detailed etc. What can I accomplish with this blog? Who do I want to read my blog? What great things can my blog accomplish? This, is what dreaming is about. Not playing it safe but really imagining what could be.
So what do I do now as I sit staring at this reflection of a trait which I could do without? A trait that I know is not destined for me?
It begins with the one thing I haven’t been doing…dreaming!
When we are faced with something about ourselves that we know does not serve us well, we are given a choice. We can continue to operate in that place of lack or we can choose to be different.
I choose to be different.
I’ve learned if one desires to become something, they must be and do the thing they desire. I declare today my desire is to be a dreamer so I will do what dreamers do…DREAM!
And although I am eager to grab hold of of this new title of being one who imagines and dreams as if there are no limits, I have to acknowledge I am not there yet. However, I do acknowledge with consistent time, practice and the greatest faith, I will be a dreamer. I will embrace everything God places in my heart to imagine.